When it comes to the journey of life, we all have our own story to tell. Each of us is unique and different in the path we took, but we’ve all arrived at the same place – the foot of the Cross. It’s at this point we make a decision, to continue traveling through life making our own pathway, or to put our trust in Him who died so that we may have life, and life in its fullest.
This is Libby’s story.
Having been brought up in a loving, christian home, I had a really good solid knowledge and understanding of the abundant love of God and never knew what it was like not knowing Him and being secure in His love. I had given my life to the Lord at the age of 4, according to my mum! I grew up in a vibrant, spirit-filled church and didn’t know any other way of life!
But growing up in cosmopolitan Brighton, in my late teens I had a distinct feeling of missing out on the kind of life all of my friends were having at the time. I became increasingly drawn into the exciting world of nightclubbing, drinking and all-night partying!! It all seemed to be so alluring at the time, and although I always knew that I was a child of God, the pull of the world was far too great to resist at that time and I had the desire to experience everything in abundance, whilst pushing my feelings of guilt and shame of my worldly lifestyle to the back of my mind.
How could I come back to God when I had deliberately gone against everything I had known and learned from my childhood
I drifted so far away from my christian upbringing and felt so sure there was no coming back from it. How could I come back to God when I had deliberately gone against everything I had known and learned from my childhood. It was a conscious rebellion on my part and made worse by the knowledge that I should have known better!
For quite a few years I kept God at arm’s length, knowing Him but deliberately shutting Him out as I felt it was the only way to cope with my guilt. Also I knew that I had so many christian family and friends praying for me through those years and I definitely didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of having their prayers answered!
So the battle continued over the years and although, having grown out of my rebellious stage it should have made sense to come back to the Lord, by then it just seemed easier to continue to push Him into the background, however much I yearned to have back my relationship with Him. I had married a non-believer and so it felt much more of an easy life not to bring God into the mix for fear of upsetting the apple cart and introducing a whole lot of conflicting opinions within my lovely settled home life!
However, my biggest feeling of guilt was that I was denying my own children the privilege of knowing and experiencing the amazing grace of God for themselves – the most precious gift you could give your children. Eventually guilt of that was too much to live with.
The evident turnaround in her life, and the sheer excitement and joy of her discovering the Lord, like a small child opening presents on Christmas morning
However the final straw came when my very close, non-christian friend was saved!! Wow the evident turnaround in her life and the sheer excitement and joy of her discovering the Lord like a small child opening presents on Christmas morning – it was so exciting to observe and to listen to her chatting on constantly about how amazing it was to know the love of Jesus and why nobody had ever told her about the Lord?!!! Instantly my memories came flooding back of how it felt in my youth to be so totally full of God and the overwhelming sense of His spirit flooding every part of your being: The memory of my beautiful, precious relationship with Jesus was just too much to push away anymore and the desperate need to teach my children about Him was way too important to ignore.
So nearly five years ago, I re-committed my life to my wonderful, faithful, forgiving and loving Father, both my children love Jesus, and in prayer and faith, my lovely husband will one day soon be serving the Lord too!